


i was lost until i found you (since that night the moon has never seemed the same)

by reachedthebitterend



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Going Back to Change the Past, M/M, Slightly Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21737023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: Michael's daughter from the future gets trapped in the past.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	1. i was lost until i found you

**Author's Note:**

> Written on: 10/22/19

Liz blows out an exasperated breath and shakes her head at Max. 

“I don’t really understand what you want me to do? Quit my job?”

Max just sighs. “Of course not, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for my fiance to have dinner with me every once in a while.”

Liz sighs and opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, there is a bright flash of light in the space between them.

Liz looks away covering her eyes with one hand. She feels Max’s hands, grabbing on to her arms and pulling her backwards and behind him.

The light disappears, just like it appeared, and when Liz blinks her eyes open, and peers around Max it’s to see that it left something behind.

The girl can’t be any older than fifteen with light brown skin and dark curly hair piled up on top of her head. She’s dressed like she’s going to a Fall Out Boy concert in the middle of an apocalypse, and there is something familiar about the shape of her jaw, and the length of her nose, something that she doesn’t quite hit her, until the girl opens her eyes, wide and bright and a whiskey hazel color that is as familiar to her as Max’s own eyes.

The girl sits up and she looks at Max, her eyes immediately narrowing in a familiar distrustful glare as she scrambles backwards until her back hits the counter.

“Hey,” Max says in a soothing voice taking a step forward. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

Her eyes dart from Max to Liz who moves so that Max isn’t blocking her from view and she smiles gently and tries to look as non threatening as possible. 

The girl immediately relaxes when she sees Liz, leaning back against the wall, and letting her legs drop into a more comfortable position as she exhales in relief.

“Aunt Liz,” she says surprising Liz so much that she actually freezes in position looking at her with wide eyes. “I need you to take me to my Dad.”

*

Liz sits in the passenger seat of Max’s jeep, turned in her seat with her back towards the window to keep an eye on Max and their passenger.

All they managed to get out of her was that her name was Cosima, that she was actually from the future and that she’ll tell them everything once she gets to her dad.

It’s obvious who her dad is so they don’t ask, not that she would answer, as she had pulled out a pair of headphones from her pocket and had slipped them over her ears and had promptly ignored them.

It was a move straight out of the Alex Manes handbook, that it made her both smile and feel guilty and just a little bit confused.

She looks like a perfect mix of Maria and Michael who had been influenced by Alex growing up, and it sends a little jolt of warmth through her at the thought that someday, Alex and Maria and Michael will be that close, because right now it seems like an impossibility.

Max makes a frustrated sound at the back of his throat, and Liz’s gaze goes from Cosima to him.

“What is it?” She asks, when he just sighs and rubs a hand over his face.

He glances over to her from the corner of his eye and just sighs again.

“If she _is_ Michael’s daughter, then why does it seem like she has no idea who I am?”

Liz looks back to Cosima and stares at her as she bops her head to whatever she’s listening to, eyes on the street, and she seems to be looking around like she’s never seen Roswell before, a familiar smirk on her lips as she notes the many alien themed restaurants and places of business.

“I don’t think she’s ever been to Roswell before,” Liz says softly like that will soften the blow at all.

“Then why does she know you, but not me?" 

Liz doesn’t have an answer for that, so she doesn’t say anything.

They arrive at the Wild Pony and Max immediately gets out of the car and heads inside.

He doesn’t slam the door, but Liz flinches all the same, feeling guilty even though she doesn’t know why Michael’s daughter would know who she is and not Max, before she turns to Cosima who is watching Max leave with narrowed eyes. 

She pulls her headphones off and turns to look at Liz as soon as Max is inside the bar.

"Who was that guy?” Cosima asks in a way that tells Liz that she’s used to asking Liz anything and getting an answer, casual and familiar. “And where is Aunt Jenna?”

Liz’s eyes go wide and she almost swallows her tongue. She blinks a few times and stares at Cosima incredulously.

“ _Aunt Jenna_?” Liz asks, tone demanding an explanation.

Cosima’s eyes narrow, and Liz can see the glint in them that in Michael means he’s putting the clues together to get the right answer.

“What year is this?” She asks carefully neutral in a way that is all Alex.

“Twenty-twenty,” Liz answers back slowly.

She sees the way that Cosima’s eyes go wide with surprise like she hadn’t been expecting it.

“I haven’t even been born yet,” she says more to herself than to Liz, looking out of the window again.

Liz has so many questions that she wants to ask, but before she can even decide which one to start with, Cosima’s eyes narrow as she stares at the Wild Pony sign before she’s getting out of the jeep.

Liz follows after her immediately.

“Hey,” she says, jogging after her as she power walks towards the entrance, “Maybe we should wai-”

But Cosima isn’t listening to her as she opens the door and walks into the bar, stopping short right at the entrance and making Liz bump into her.

Liz looks around to see what made her stop, and finds Max and Maria by the bar. Maria is laughing and Max is downing the rest of his drink.

Maria’s eyes go over to the open door, eyes bright with amusement, mouth open to tell Liz hello, and she just goes completely still as soon as her eyes fall on Cosima.

Her eyes go wide, and her mouth drops open, and the glass she was holding in her hand, slips through her fingers and lands on the floor with a clatter and the splash of liquid.

Her eyes go from Cosima, who is also preternaturally still in front of Liz, to Max, who says something in a low voice that carries, but Liz can’t make the words.

Maria’s eyes go even wider at whatever Max says, and she looks back at Cosima and then down, and disappears behind the bar as she cleans up the mess she just made.

Liz moves, wrapping one arm around Cosima’s shoulders and dragging her along.

Cosima goes along, like it’s something that happens all of the time, and even sits down when Liz pushes her towards one of the stools.

Maria stands back up, freezing again when she sees Cosima, who looks away immediately looking around the bar in an almost curious desperation.

Maria turns away from her and looks at Liz, eyes full of questions.

Liz just gives her a helpless look back because she has no answers.

Max clears his throat and Maria turns from Liz to him.

“Where’s Michael?” He asks her, and Maria’s eyes go even wider as she turns back to Cosima, and seems to catalogue all the ways she looks like Michael and then looks down at the tequila bottle still on top of the bar from where she’d poured their drinks.

She clears her throat setting the glass that was still in her hands down, and exhales carefully.

“He’s sleeping in the backroom,” she answers.

Liz furrows her brow in confusion. “I thought you guys-”

“Yeah,” she says interrupting her. “But apparently the couch back there is more comfortable than his bed at home.”

Max nods his head once and slides off the stool he’d been sitting on and heads towards the backroom.

Liz sits down on his vacated seat and slides his empty glass over, giving Maria a hopeful smile.

Maria grabs the glass and pours Liz a drink, but most of her attention is on Cosima.

Liz darts a look at her to see that she’s staring at Maria through the mirror behind the bar, something like fascination in her gaze, almost like it’s the first time that she’s seen her, but that can’t be right.

She’s obviously her daughter, and from the way that Maria is acting she can actually _feel_ it as well as see it.

Liz turns back to Maria to see her take a deep breath, like she’s preparing herself for a battle.

“Hey, Cosima, right?” she asks, visibly faltering when Cosima turns to her, and looks at her with Michael Guerin’s eyes. “Would you like something to drink?”

Cosima tilts her head a little and looks at Maria with intense eyes, like she’s getting ready to test her knowledge about every drink known to man.

“Lavender and ginger lemonade,” she says, and Maria just stares at her for a long second before nodding her head and going towards the low fridge where the cold beer bottles and water bottles and mixers that need to be kept cold are kept.

She pulls out a pitcher of lemonade, and Liz can see _For Mimi_ , written in permanent marker by the handle.

She pours Cosima a glass, and brings it over to her, smiling a little, when the girl grabs the glass and slides it over, bending low with her mouth open to pull the straw in between her teeth instead of picking the glass up.

“That’s my mom’s favorite drink,” Maria tells her, and Cosima darts her eyes up to Maria and then back down.

“I know,” she says, around the straw in her mouth.

Maria blinks rapidly, and her eyes narrow, like she’s getting a feeling from Cosima that she really doesn’t understand.

“How old are you?” Liz asks, making Maria flinch like she’d forgotten that Liz was there, and Cosima turns to her.

“I’m almost sixteen,” she answers without hesitation.

“When is your birthdate?” Maria asks, voice full of trepidation like she’s not ready to hear the answer, but she wants to know anyway.

Cosima turns to her, and her gaze takes on a calculating edge that Liz has seen from Alex, whenever he’s thinking about saying something that he knows is going to be serious.

Maria must notice it too, from the way her eyes go a little wide, but neither of them say anything.

“March thirteenth, twenty twenty-one,” Cosima answers, leaning back down to get at her drink.

Liz mentally calculates and turns to Maria with wide eyes. Maria is still as stone like she’s frozen, and then before Liz can say anything, she’s turning and leaning over the sink behind her, coughing and gagging before she throws up.

Liz moves behind the bar quickly, getting a cloth and rubbing her hand up and down Maria’s back.

She hands the cloth to Maria after she spits and turns the faucet on to rinse her mouth and wash her face.

Maria dries her face and darts a look to Liz, eyes wide and scared, and Liz would love to tell her that everything is going to be okay, but there is something wrong about all of this.

Not that Cosima is wrong, but she seems to be entirely used to Liz, but is acting like she’s never met Maria before.

They both turn to Cosima, who is watching them curiously while she sips from her drink, when the door to the back room opens with a slam.

“Lizzie,” Michael yells out as he stalks towards the bar. “Want to explain why your future husband is talking to me about childr-?”

Liz, who had turned towards Michael as soon as he called her, watches as Michael stops right in the middle of the room, eyes going so wide she fears they might pop out of his skull.

His expression is more complicated than Maria’s to understand, but it all comes secondary when she hears glass shattering, and then the heavy sounds of combat boots taking several staggering steps.

She turns towards Cosima who is looking at Michael almost like she’s staring at a ghost, which confuses Liz, but then Cosima’s eyes jump to her and Liz sees the panic there before Cosima’s breaths start coming in faster, and she presses a hand to her chest.

Max takes a step towards her, concerned, and Cosima’s head snaps up, and she looks at him with wild panic, and then it’s almost like she shimmers, in holographic silver tones, and then one second she’s standing right in front of Max, and the next she’s right next to Liz behind the bar.

Both Liz and Maria jump back startled while Cosima falls to the floor, and huddles back against the counter, gathering her knees to her chest as she gasps, trying to breathe.

Liz’s phone is in her hands and she’s calling Kyle before she even realizes it.

Kyle answers the phone after three rings, but it’s not Kyle. It’s Alex.

“Hey,” he says. “Kyle’s in the bathroom-”

“No, it’s fine. Tell me you know how to calm someone down from a panic attack.”

Alex is silent for a second before he starts to speak. 

“Where are you?” 

“The Pony,” Liz answers. “Why?”

“Ask Maria to get a sprig of lavender, the smell is calming, but while she does that you need to get whomever’s attention. You have to get them to focus on something and block everything else out. Kyle says we’ll be right there to check vitals.”

He hangs up the phone before she can say anything else.

Liz nods her head and drops to her knees in front of Cosima.

“Maria,” she says. “Do you have lavender anywhere?”

She just hears Maria walking away as she moves closer to Cosima.

“Cosima,” she says, trying to sound as quiet as possible. 

“ _Cariño_ ,” she tries when all she does is tighten her arms around her legs.

Cosima looks up at her at that, and Liz smiles, and says, “I need you to focus on my breathing okay?”

Cosima looks at her wildly, breathing shallowly, but she takes a deep breath in when Liz does, but all it does is make her gasp weakly like she can’t get enough air.

“Tell her to recite Pi,” Michael speaks up, and Liz turns a glare on him.

“Why would she do that?”

Before Michael can answer, Liz hears Cosima muttering numbers under her breath, breathing in and holding the breath for five numbers and then letting it out and breathing in again.

She turns back to Michael as Cosima starts to breathe more easily, and narrows her eyes as Michael just sits down heavily, letting his head drop into his hands.

*

“We should ask her why she’s here?” Max says as soon as they’re out of earshot.

Liz narrows her eyes at him. “I’m not up for interrogating a fifteen year old girl who just had a panic attack.”

Max sighs, “Do you think I want to? But what other choice do we have? She told us that she would tell us everything once we got her to her dad.”

A hush falls over the table as everyone pointedly don’t look over to where Michael is sitting as silent and as still as a statue.

Liz turns to look back at Cosima who is tapping her fingers idly along the rim of the glass of water on the table in front of her.

Maria is also watching her with an expression that’s hard for Liz to place, but tells Liz that she’s starting to understand exactly what’s going on, and Liz hopes that she shares soon, because Liz is still confused.

Kyle walks into the bar, talking on his phone.

“Yeah, well I’m staring at them both, and it doesn’t look like either of them are hurt, so please just relax and enjoy your spa day.”

He hangs up the phone and looks to Michael and Max, “You guys better be okay and not make a liar out of me.”

Max opens his mouth to say something, but Alex walks in then, looking down at his phone in both frustration and exasperation.

He looks up and around the room, assessing as much of the situation as he can with a quick gaze, and Liz can see out of the corner of her eye when he spots Cosima and stops moving like he hit an invisible wall, eyes going wide.

The rest of Liz’s attention is caught by Cosima who had looked up when Kyle had walked in, but had looked away in disappointment. She immediately stands when her eyes catch on Alex her face crumpling with relief and she looks much more like a child than she has the whole time she’s been with them.

She runs to Alex, and there are tears and an overwhelming amount of relief in her voice when she practically sobs, “Dad.”

She barrels straight into him, making him stagger a few feet back as she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest.

Alex wraps his arms around her immediately but his eyes are panicked as he looks at the others over her head.

_What?_ He mouths at them, and Liz is even more at a loss than she was before.

She turns to Michael who is looking at where Cosima is sobbing in relief and Alex is trying to soothe her, with the most overwhelming look of longing in his face that Liz has to look away.

She looks at Maria, and feels her heart clench in her chest. Maria looks startled and shocked and just a little angry and a whole lot hurt.

She looks away back to Cosima and Alex and wonders if Cosima will talk now that her dad is here.


	2. now these songs will hold and hide your name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on: 10/24/19

_February 23rd, 2024_

Alex pulls his jeep up behind Michael’s truck parked right next to the _Welcome to Roswell_ sign.

He sighs in relief when he sees Michael sitting down on the tailgate, Cosima asleep in his arms.

At least they’re safe.

He gets out of his car and and makes his way carefully over to them. Michael doesn’t look at him, if anything his arms go tighter around Cosima’s body and he shuts his eyes tight.

The dread that had been eating at him since Michael had called him and told him to meet him by the town limits comes back tenfold.

He inhales shakily and carefully sits down besides Michael.

“Guerin,” he says, unable to keep the shaking out of his voice.

Michael inhales deeply and his eyes flutter open before he turns to look at Alex.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, and Michael just closes his eyes again, shaking his head.

“We made contact last night,” he admits and Alex suddenly feels a chill going down the back of his neck. “They’ll be here by tonight.”

Alex swallows hard and looks away, looking back over the horizon where the sun is just beginning to light up the sky.

“I need you to do something for me,” Michael says after a few silent minutes where the only sound was the wind blowing against the short dry grass and Cosima’s deep even breaths.

Alex exhales slowly and turns back to Michael. Michael is looking at him with wide pleading eyes like Alex wouldn’t do anything for him.

“Anything,” Alex blurts out a little helplessly. 

Ever since he first saw Michael holding a newborn in his arms, close to his chest, an expression so tender and beautiful, one that Alex had never seen on Michael’s face, he’d realized that he would never be able to deny him anything again.

Michael exhales carefully, a relieved tinge in his eyes, but Alex could still see the misery swirling in them. 

“I need you to take Cosima, and get as far away from Roswell as possible.“

Alex stares at him in shock, eyes wide, lips parted, and he tries to figure out something to say, but Michael just keeps talking.

“And I need you to stay away until I call you and tell you that it’s safe to come back.”

Alex blinks his eyes a few times and looks away, staring at the Roswell sign, before he looks back to Michael.

“Why?” He asks, staring at Michael intently.

Michael gives him a slightly exasperated look, “We don’t actually know what they want. All we know is that they might be more like the others than like us. And I’m not going to take that chance, not with her.”

Alex shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant, why me? Why not Liz or even Maria?”

Michael licks his lips swallowing hard, and moves his arms to a more comfortable position.

“Liz won’t leave Max’s side, and Maria has her hands full with her mom. And besides,” Michael continues, looking away. “You’re the only one that I trust to actually do this. You’ll take good care of her. You already do. And she’ll be really excited to be on an adventure with her Lex.”

Alex takes a deep breath and looks at Michael, at the way he’s holding on like he’s never going to get to hold her again, and Alex feels his chest ache as his heart cracks right in two.

He wants to tell Michael to come with them, but he won’t because he already knows what his answer is going to be. He knows that Michael won’t leave Isobel and Max to face this alone.

“Okay, Michael,” he says, and sees the way Michael loses all of the tension in his shoulders, almost swaying in relief, like he wasn’t expecting Alex to actually agree.

“Okay,” Alex says again, and Michael swallows hard, looking at Cosima in his arms, and he tightens his hold on her, and Alex feels tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

“Her stuff is in the front seat,” Michael says, in a voice that’s almost too low.

Alex nods his head once and takes the out, turning away from Michael and feeling the tears fall down his cheeks as he closes his eyes briefly.

“Alex,” Michael says, and Alex stops moving but doesn’t turn to him.

“Promise me that you won’t let her forget about me.”

Alex closes his eyes and feels more tears falling down his face, and he bites down hard on his lip so that he doesn’t actually start sobbing.

He breathes in deeply, trying to get himself under control and he nods his head.

“I promise,” he swears, and then moves fast to the front seat of the truck.

Alex grabs the bags that Michael had in the front seat, and opens the glove compartment before he can second guess himself and pulls out the picture that Michael has stashed in there. The one where they’re both playing the guitar, but instead of looking down at what he’s doing, Michael is staring at him like he’s the only thing that exists.

He slides it into his pocket and grabs Cosima’s bags and heads to his jeep.

He sets her stuff down besides the duffel bag that he always keeps back there in case of emergencies. 

He can always buy more clothes if he needs to.

He closes the trunk and when he turns towards the truck, it’s to see that Michael has moved to settle Cosima down in the car seat that Alex keeps in his jeep.

Alex watches him with tears in his eyes as he pushes her curls back away from her forehead and presses a kiss to her temple, pulling away, and actually sobbing when her little fingers snag against the fabric of his shirt.

Michael pulls the plaid shirt off, and wraps her up in it, staying in his thin white shirt despite how cold the early morning air feels.

He places his hand on top of her head, and then turns around and almost bumps straight into Alex who hadn’t noticed that he’d been moving closer.

He catches Michael, who wraps his arms around Alex’s shoulders and buries his face in the side of Alex’s neck.

Alex wraps his arms around him and holds him tight, blinking his eyes rapidly so that he doesn’t actually start crying in earnest.

“Alex, Alex, _Alex_ ,” Michael says over and over and over, before he moves his face from Alex’s neck to look at him on the eyes.

“Promise me,” he says, staring at him with wide desperate eyes. “Please.”

“I swear,” Alex says, sliding his hands up and around Michael’s shoulders. “I promise, I promise I’ll take care of her as if she were my own, and I promise that she will never forget you, and I promise that once it’s safe I’ll bring her back to you.”

Michael nods his head fast and then drops his forehead to Alex’s, eyes falling shut as he exhales in relief. 

Alex wraps his arms around Michael’s shoulders and closes his eyes too, hoping this separation is extremely temporary.

*

_July 11th, 2020_

“Start from the beginning,” Alex says as carefully as he can, his gaze on Cosima and no one else.

He hasn’t looked away from her since she had taken his hand and lead him to sit down on the table where she’d been sitting before. She had sat down and finally drank the glass of water Maria had given her earlier.

Michael has been willing Alex to look at him, to see if he could tell what exactly he was thinking about when he’d seen this girl who looked like him, like Maria and then she’d called _him_ dad.

But Alex just has eyes for Cosima, who is looking at him with enough fond exasperation and relief for Michael to tell that something had happened to Alex in the future, something bad.

She looks at Alex and then over his shoulder to where Liz is leaning back against the table right next to theirs, with her arms crossed like she’s jealous that Cosima is much warmer with Alex than she’s been with everyone else. Max is sitting down on the table next to Kyle who is hissing to Isobel on his phone that, no he’s not going to take a picture. Maria is still sitting on the furthest table away from Cosima, right next to Michael in a silent show of solidarity that Michael appreciates.

He feels confused and overwhelmed, and he wants answers, but at the same time, he’s seen the way that she looks at him, like the ghost of someone she lost long ago, and he thinks that maybe he’ll be getting an answer he really doesn’t want to hear.

Cosima inhales deeply, and looks around the room before she looks back at Alex, and it’s such a familiar Alex move that Michael feels his heart clench in his chest.

“I don’t remember much about what happened before we, I mean, Dad and I left Roswell. The clearest memories I have from that time are of flying, and feeling perfectly safe, and Dad always used to say that that sounds like something that Papa would do.”

Her eyes dart over to Michael and away, and Michael once again goes still feeling like someone just suckerpunched him in the stomach.

“Everything after Roswell is just a blur of driving and motel rooms and never staying too long in one place. The clearest memory I have from then is when Aunt Liz found us.”

“I was five, I think and Dad had decided that we were going to have to stay in one place so that I could start going to school. I remember that she had asked to speak to Dad in private and they had gone to the kitchen, and I couldn’t hear what she said, but Dad’s eyes had gone sad, like they only did when he was looking at that picture of Papa that he kept in his wallet during the night when he thought that I was asleep. But instead of crying, he had opened his arms, and Aunt Liz had collapsed into him, crying, loud enough that I could hear in the living room. I remember Aunt Jenna more, but that’s probably because she showed me all the knife tricks she could do to keep me distracted.”

“ _Aunt Jenna_?” Isobel says incredulously from where Kyle has her on speaker, as though that’s the most ridiculous thing about that sentence.

“Knife tricks?” Both Michael and Alex say at the same time.

“Yeah,” she says slowly, narrowing her eyes at them both before she looks over to Liz. “Aunt Jenna was with Aunt Liz and they got married when I was ten. I was the flower girl.”

Michael flinches as Max scrapes his chair back as he gets up and leaves and Liz follows after him.

He catches Max turning around to face Liz but before they say anything the door is closing, with them outside.

“Who _is_ that guy?” Cosima asks, and her tone sounds like it’s not the first time that she’s asked that question.

Michael turns towards her, and she’s watching Alex expectantly, but Michael can tell that he’s scrambling to come up with an answer.

“You don’t know who Max is?” Michael asks, sounding hoarse.

Cosima’s eyes snap to him and Michael goes completely still again, his heart racing in his chest. The last person who had looked at him with eyes that were just like his was his mom, and he was having a hard time trying to keep his cool.

He wanted to know everything, but at the same time, he really didn’t.

She licks her lips and furrows her brow as her gaze drops back to Alex.

Alex tilts his head to the side, and Cosima copies the movement almost in sync.

“The Alien Messiah?” Alex says slowly, and Cosima’s eyes light up.

“You mean those weren’t just stories? They’re actual real people?”

Alex exhales. “I mean, I have codenames for everyone in the files. But I’m not quite sure what stories you mean?”

Michael sees the door opening from the corner of his eye, and catches Liz eyes when she walks in, and she looks frustrated but just shakes her head when Michael raises an eyebrow at her.

She settles herself next to Kyle, as Cosima starts to speak.

She looks animated for the first time since Michael first saw her.

“The Glamorous Space Princess who throws the biggest and best balls and was brave and defeated the Evil Mastermind who tried to brainwash her! Or the one about the Amazing Psychic who can see everyone’s future but her own! Or how about the one about the Alien Messiah who died and was brought back to life by the Beautiful and Intrepid Alchemist! Or the one about the Handsome Doctor who can heal any cut with just one touch who mends the Glamorous Space Princess’ broken heart! Or how about my favorite, the one about the Sweet Alien Prince who fell into star-crossed love with the Evil General’s Son!”

Her enthusiasm flags as soon as she realizes that Alex doesn’t exactly know what she’s talking about, and she looks around at everyone else, and Michael can see the way that her expression shutters, like she just realized that she’s around a bunch of strangers.

“I told you these stories?” Alex asks, and she nods her head once, looking around the room before her gaze settles back on Alex.

Alex seems to realize at the same time that Michael does, that she’s on the defensive.

“What is it?” Alex asks, brow furrowing.

Cosima chews on her bottom lip, like she’s weighing the pros and cons before she speaks.

“Dad told me to find you, that I could trust you, but it’s so difficult to do that, when it kind of feels like I’m stuck in the twilight zone.”

“Why didn’t you guys go back to Roswell?” Max’s voice comes from the open door.

Cosima’s gaze snaps to him, but if anything she goes even more defensive.

She looks to Alex who gives her a look that says it’s up to her to answer.

Her eyes dart over to Michael and Maria and then back to Max.

“That night that Aunt Liz found us, Dad told me what happened. Up until that point I guess, he thought that Papa had made it.”

She pauses looking to Alex and her gaze softens marginally as though she recognizes the expression on his face.

She looks back over to Max. “You made contact with the Alighting and they deemed you corrupted by humanity and blew Roswell off the face of the earth.”

Michael had seen this coming, so he wasn’t entirely surprised. From the way Maria doesn’t react, he can tell that she had been thinking the same thing.

Michael looks to Liz who looks a little bit like she’s in shock and then his gaze goes to Alex and he freezes to see Alex staring right at him.

Alex looks away as soon as Michael turns to him, looking back at Cosima, who turns away from Max at the same time to look at him.

“That’s how Aunt Jenna says it anyway. The story Dad told me was about how my Papa was a hero, how he saved Aunt Liz instead of saving himself, because that was the kind of person that he was.”

Her eyes go glassy with unshed tears, and she doesn’t look away from Alex.

“I was five and he promised me that he would do everything in his power to make sure that I had the life that my Papa wanted me to have, and he gave me the best life anyone could ever ask for, and he loved me unconditionally. But there was always a small part of me that knew that he was trying to figure out a way to give me back my Papa, like he wasn’t enough.”

Alex looks away from her at that, and his gaze immediately finds Michael’s before he gets up from his seat, and moves away like he’s trying to control his reaction.

Cosima exhales carefully like she’d been expecting that reaction, and she also looks to Michael, a little defiantly, like she’s expecting him to say that Alex _wasn’t_ enough.

“How did you get here?” Liz speaks up like she’s been wondering this whole time and this was the only time she managed to find to ask the question.

Cosima blinks a few times before she looks at Liz, furrowing her brow and then exhaling like she keeps forgetting that she’s not the Aunt Liz that she knows.

“It’s my ability,” she says, raising one hand and wiggling her fingers in the air. “I can travel through time and space, but going backwards is really hard. I never really tried it, but of course, Dad had figured out a way to do it.”

“Why did he send you back?” Maria asks carefully. “Why didn’t he come back with you?”

Cosima’s gaze snaps to Maria like she’s been trying to avoid looking at her the entire time, and Maria inhales sharply, and reaches out and wraps her fingers around Michael’s wrist as though she already knew what Cosima was going to say.

Michael had known what was coming when it came to what happened to himself, but whatever it was that happened to Alex he really didn’t want to know. He would prefer to go on thinking that the future had an alive and well Alex Manes, and that made everything that was to come worth it.

Cosima inhales carefully, and she looks away from Maria to look at Alex who is leaning back on a table away from them like he’s trying to isolate himself.

“After the attack on Roswell, there were other cities attacked, but the Alighting left, not seeing any good that would come from taking over Earth. They left us alone, but there were still aliens living here, aliens that didn’t want anything to do with the Alighting and their agenda. The government knew that there were others, and special task forces were dispatched to deal with them.”

She stops speaking and takes a deep, shaky breath like she doesn’t really want to say what she has to say next, but can’t figure out a way out of it.

“Dad always made sure that we were careful, and if there was ever any doubt, he would move us somewhere else immediately, but something had happened, and even though Dad wanted us to move, I fought him about it because I had friends, and I didn’t want to have to start all over again, and he gave in because it’s what he does when it’s something that I really want, but someone found out, about me, and they told and the last thing I remember is Dad telling me what I had to do, making me promise him that I would find him in the past, and then there were these people in tactical suits with guns and he stood between me and them until I managed to do it, and the last thing I heard was-”

Her voice cuts off and she inhales sharply almost like she can’t breathe and she’s looking over to where Alex is with eyes shining bright with tears and Michael already knows what she’s going to say before she says it.

“It was a gunshot,” she finishes voice sounding terrifyingly numb. “I think he’s dead.”

*

Alex is startled out of the daze that Cosima’s story has put him in, by the harsh scrape of Michael’s chair as he gets up.

Alex’s gaze snaps to him, to see him pushing Maria’s hands away as he walks out of the bar, taking the same path that Max had earlier.

Alex very nearly follows after him immediately, but then he hears Cosima’s voice wheezing a little, and he turns to her, immediately concerned.

She’s looking at him with wide wet eyes, darting up and down his frame like she’s searching for a bullet hole.

Alex moves towards her automatically, dropping to his knees, and ignoring the slight twinge of pain that goes up his right thigh.

“I just have him,” she says gasping, looking at him with tears running down her face. “I don’t have anyone else, just him and if he’s gone? Then I don’t have anyone. I’ll be completely alone.”

Alex reaches up and cups her shoulders in his hands, and she literally stops, air catching in her throat, eyes wide and intent on Alex.

“Listen to me,” he says with as much conviction as he can. “We are going to figure out a way to fix this. And even if you stay stuck here, I promise you, you’re not alone. You’ll have me, no matter what.”

Cosima nods her head quickly, and Alex feels like maybe he should hug her, but he can tell that she doesn’t want that right now, so he squeezes her shoulders and gets up, looking to Liz who stands up immediately.

“Why don’t we go to the bathroom so you can wash your face?” She suggests, and Cosima looks from Alex to her and nods her head, again.

She gets up from her seat and Alex watches as she follows Liz to the bathroom for a second before he turns around and follows the same path Michael did to go outside.

He expects to find the truck missing, but instead, he finds Michael sitting on the tailgate of his truck, staring at the horizon as storm clouds start rolling in.

Alex walks over to him trying to figure out how to say what he actually means to say.

Lately all he’s been doing has been putting his foot in his mouth every time that he talks to Michael, and even though they’ve become closer than they ever had been, when it comes to the serious stuff, Alex always seems to say something wrong.

He’s always been a more show than tell type of guy, but Michael deserved to hear the words, even if they were difficult for Alex to say. 

Alex sits down besides Michael on the tailgate with a sigh, but he still doesn’t know what to say.

Michael like always, doesn’t have that problem.

“I knew that she was going to say that I was dead, I could see it in the way that she looked at me, and I was prepared for that, but somehow knowing that _you_ might-”

His voice cuts out and he shakes his head looking down at his hands.

Alex blinks up at the sky and inhales shakily as Michael keeps talking.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I can die happily knowing that you’re alive out there somewhere.”

Alex shakes his head a little but Michael isn’t looking at him. He can hear him inhaling to keep speaking, but Alex just takes a deep breath and beats him to it.

“Stop,” he says, and Michael freezes.

“You’re right, I don’t want to hear that. And up until a few minutes ago, I would’ve told you that there was nothing that could tear me from your side if you were about to die.”

He can feel Michael go even more tense beside him.

Alex closes his eyes and tries again.

“You know, I’ve never really thought about having kids. I guess some part of me was always afraid that I would end up like my father no matter how hard I tried, but-”

He stops talking and shakes his head and when he opens his eyes and turns to Michael, Michael is staring right at him.

“But if you asked me to take care of your child,” he continues, and Michael’s eyes go wide with shock. “I would do it without hesitation.”

Michael stares at him for a few long moments, not moving, not even _breathing_.

Alex stares at him, and tries to figure out where he messed up now, when Michael gasps, inhaling deeply and looks away.

“Why?” Michael demands breathing heavily.

Alex furrows his brow, not really understanding what Michael means, until he gets it, and he scoffs looking away.

“You know why, Guerin.”

“No I don’t,” Michael snaps almost angrily. “If I did I wouldn’t be asking.”

Alex stands up, pushing away from the truck and paces agitatedly for a few seconds before he turns back to Michael who is looking at him like he thinks that Alex is going to make an excuse to leave at any second.

Alex exhales heavily and takes two steps forward, until he’s close enough that Michael furrows his brow.

“Why do you think?”

Michael scoffs and looks away briefly before turning back towards him with a determined look on his face, like he’s tired of not saying what he’s thinking.

“I think that you’re just trying to make up for everything wrong that has ever happened to me like it’s your fault that you were born into a family of douchebags, and the last thing that I want from you is pity.”

Alex shakes his head before Michael is even done talking.

“That’s not it at all,” Alex says immediately. “I’ll admit that at first, I felt guilty, and maybe I tried too hard to eradicate the wrongs of the past and didn’t spend enough time trying to right the wrongs that were actually my fault, but it was never about _pity_.”

“Then why?” Michael asks, pushing himself off from the tailgate and getting into Alex’s personal space.

“Because you’re my family!” Alex snaps, feeling frustrated. “Because I would do anything for you! Because I love you!”

Michael goes completely still again, and Alex mirrors his movements, eyes going wide as he realizes exactly what he just said.

“You-” Michael starts sounding breathless as though Alex had punched him in the stomach.

Alex just swallows hard and nods his head carefully.

Michael steps even closer, and Alex realizes abruptly how close they are and moves to take a step backwards.

Michael wraps his fingers in the collar of Alex’s shirt and he holds on tight, arresting his movements.

Alex licks his lips and his eyes drop to Michael’s mouth, briefly, before he catches himself and looks away.

“Say it again,” Michael says in a low voice, and Alex looks back at him because he can’t help himself.

Michael’s gaze is on his mouth like he needs to see the words coming out as well as hear them.

Alex inhales carefully and just stares at Michael’s face.

Alex parts his lips, but the words don’t come out.

Michael’s eyes dart up to his, and Alex feels all the air get trapped at the back of his throat.

Michael’s eyes go bright and warm, and Alex breathes in sharply and says the words as easy as breathing.

“I love you,” he says, stomach trembling.

Michael smiles soft and sweet, his mouth quirking up higher on one side than the other.

He’s looking at Alex like he’s something amazing and impossible. His fingers go tighter in the fabric of Alex’s shirt, and he pulls him in a little bit more, gaze going dark as his eyes drop to Alex’s mouth and he leans in.

Alex doesn’t realize that he’s about to be kissed until he feels Michael’s breath against his mouth.

“Wait,” he says, voice dry and cracking.

Michael stops moving closer, but he doesn’t move any further back, eyes still on Alex’s mouth.

“Why?” Michael asks again, voice thick and breathy.

“What about Maria?”

Michael moves back then, eyes darting up to Alex’s. “We broke up like two weeks-”

“I know,” Alex says, cutting him off. “I mean, Cosima. She’s your daughter. Yours and Maria’s.”

“And she calls you Dad like it’s something she’s done all of her life, because she has,” Michael says and Alex feels the words like tiny bombs impacting in his brain.

“And anyway,” Michael says, voice going low again, as he pushes in close again, brushing their noses together. “I have never wanted children. Until I saw you holding her in your arms.”

Alex really doesn’t think that anyone will blame him for reacting the way that he does.

He reaches up and drags his hands into Michael’s hair, and closes the small distance between them, crushing their mouths together.

Michael makes a soft, shocked sound that Alex muffles with his lips. And then Michael is surging into him, sliding his hands to the back of Alex’s neck and holding him close as he kisses Alex harder, biting against his lips and licking into his mouth.

Alex moans low in the back of his throat as he tightens his fingers in Michael’s hair and kisses him back just as hard, feeling a little bit desperate and like this might be the last time that he’ll ever be able to kiss Michael. 

Michael drags his hands down Alex’s back and settles himself back against the tailgate of his truck wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist to keep him close.

Alex leans heavily against him, dragging his hands through Michael’s hair restlessly as the thought really hits him that Michael is going to die soon, and that’s not a thought he’s prepared to deal with at all.

He pulls away from Michael mouths parting with a wet, sucking sound.

He looks at Michael and tries to think clearly. 

“What is it?” Michael asks, voice low, hands moving up and down Alex’s back. What’s wrong?“

Alex stares at him for a long second before he sighs and steps out of Michael’s hold.

"It’s just,” Alex says, dragging his fingers through his hair and then crossing his arms over his chest as he turns to look back at Michael who is watching Alex with a furrowed brow. 

“I know me, and I wouldn’t have tried to find a way to send her back unless I figured out a way to save you.”


End file.
